Sadly, my middle daughter has a clear struggle with shame. When she gets in trouble or has her sister or friend hurt her with words or actions the response is always the same….a dropped chin, hung head, slumped shoulders, and a defeated composure. She is ready to swallow more of the same nasty pill of shame.
She has struggled with various health issues including not being able to gain weight adequately and a dairy intolerance. Despite my background as a dietitian and my consistent attempts to boost her caloric intake the result was always the same….poor coloring, little to no weight gain, and the ever annoying dairy issues. The more I have studied the root cause of disease I postulated that perhaps my daughter and her shame response was contributing to her health issues so I asked the Lord how I could encourage her and help her walk confidently in who she was and allowing all the ‘junk’ to fall off of her without becoming internalized and ‘swallowed’. This is the picture I received….a big beautiful plate heaped with POOP and tied with a great big beautiful red ribbon. Oh this was going to be good!!!
The next time there was an occasion where my sweet 11 year old began to go into her posture of shame following some incident I sat her down and described the image in my mind. I told her that the enemy wanted nothing more for her to ‘eat the poop’ and accept this beautiful ‘gift’ which wasn’t a gift at all of course. She looked at me, shocked and then started laughing her head off. It headed off the shame cycle and made her recognize just what this response was doing to her and her body.
Now I just have to say, “Makenzie, don’t eat the poop!” and she can’t help but laugh and recognize that she wants to go in a different direction in her response to whatever is upsetting her. I am also thrilled to report that she has gained at least 2 pounds within the few months I have implemented this and her dairy issues are all but GONE!
Yes indeed this has worked great with her but recently I realized that I was doing my own bit of poop eating. You see with my nearly 11 year struggle with Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis there are some days when I literally cannot get out of bed until much later in the morning than I would like. I was beating myself up that the kids deserved a better homeschooling mother and my husband deserved a better, more energetic and healthy wife like he married. I was wallowing in a pit of shame and self-pity. It was then that I remembered the poop analogy and recognized that I had been duped by the enemy and was taking in that ugly shame.
I am so thankful that the way we find healing is to bring things into the LIGHT. It is there that we can expose the enemy’s schemes worked in darkness and deception. You’ve been found out! I am not falling for it and my penchant is for pizza, peaches, pasta, and peas but NOT poop. When I hear that familiar lie about what a poor job I am doing as a homeschool mom this is the truth I need to cling to:
Isaiah 54:13 – All your children shall be taught by the LORD, and great shall be the peace of your children.
My children are taught by me every day but the Lord is really the One who is teaching them and giving them His peace.
And how about this one when I feel tired and worn out and not much good to anyone…
Proverbs 31:10 – A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
My worth is NOT in what I can DO but in who I AM in Him and the character I bring despite the limitations I face in my health. And while we’re at it, I am a human being NOT a human doing. He delights in me as His daughter and His creation and He does you, too!
How about you, my dear? Do you recognize the sly move of the enemy to tempt you with shame over some area of your life where you don’t feel like you’ve done something bad but that you ARE bad and just don’t measure up? Well good news! You don’t have to eat that disgusting ‘gift’ which wreaks havoc on our minds, souls, and bodies. No more poop! Instead feast on God’s Word filled with all the truth you will ever need about who you are and the worth you hold. You are beloved.